After thinking about it over, over and over again and still having second thoughts, I finally decided. I'm heading to the gym. I've tried everything from starving myself, healthier diet,working extra hard cleaning the house, acupuncture to ayurveda. So I can safely say, been there done that..sigh..
It's all worked for short term but my problem was that I couldn't continue anything, mind you, I have valid reasons so don't you try to call me a loser or someone who gives up. Coz that I am definitely not!
I had always told myself I'd do anything but go to the gym. Here I am, blogging about it after completing my first workout session. Well yeah everyone's like your not 'that' fat. Maybe I'm not but I still am not happy with my weight. I have a target in mind and I will achieve that no matter what. That's how determined I am right now.
Talking about my first day. To be honest, I was nervous stepping into the place. After a while I got comfortable. Seeing all those girls who are fatter than me working out there made me smile :) and made me feel smaller as well. I thought to myself 'I'm not so bad after all'. But just coz of that I'm not gonna stop. I was also thinking 'I don't want to be anywhere close to what they look like anytime in the future'. So all the more reason to start now than regret later.
The trainer was OK. He asked me not to force myself since it was my first day but u know me, I just wanted to show him I can do it. Did a couple of different stretches and used different machines 10 mins each. On the whole I felt good, HOT, and dizzy at the end of it. I felt so much heat being released form my body and sweated it out like a pig.
All I can say now is that I am so tired after having a nice hot shower and making dinner for family. I wanna sleep. But my Strawberries in farmville are only 98% grown, so I have to stay up to harvest them before I can sleep in peace. I will not be happy if they all wither. Looking forward to Day 2...
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Last week as a single
Wow, where to I start. I have no idea how the last week went by.
October 20th. I was feeling very sick, having a cold and lying in bed all day. Then my parents tell me that a few people are coming over to see me. That made me so mad coz I was in so much pain and I felt they didn't care. So I had to get up and shower and get dressed up for them. I was feeling so angry towards the people as well, even though it was not their fault.
Evening, they came including the guy and I just had to sit there with them. He spoke a few words like asked my name, studies, work etc. I just answered the questions and didnt wanna talk. Family seemed nice tho so it was ok , my anger died down a little.
Once they went my mom asked if I liked and I got so mad at her.
On this same day I got my 'friend' in the morning, so that too added to all these.
October 21st.
The family who came yesterday had said ok and wanted to come home and confirm. I couldnt believe it, I was too much in shock and scared that my parents will say yes. And then from my room I heard them talking about venues, engagement and dates and that made my head spin. I was like, whattttt, they hadnt even asked me, and they are making plans?
Later in the evening my parents spoke to me, showd me his pic and details and asked if I liked. I am so fed up of all these proposals by now. I just sat and started to think. I was not able to find any fault with them this time, except tht the guy was too polite :) And I just felt that its OK, so I told them ok. I couldnt believe what I was saying tho.
October 22nd.
Everything got confirmed and they wanted to have the nikah. I was like OMG, what, the nikah. And that too on 1st of Nov. I'm totally not prepared for this. But then agaoin I thought if its confirmed why not. And I also I prefer getting to know the guy after the nikah coz its legally not right to talk b4 nikah.
They came home today to see me and talk to my parents.And to get measurements for rings and bangles.
October 23rd.
We went shopping for Sharara's and got one at Jeychandrans. Guess who we bumped into. Him and his family. God, I felt like I could dissapear. I couldnt talk, I said no when the sister wanted me to talk.
I also informed the school and they were all very happy for me.
October 24th.
We went shopping again for accessories and stuff and Sarah joined me this time. She was hoping tht she will get to see the guy, hehe. They were at MC the same time as us but they were leaving when we spotted them. We dropped Sarah and went to Beverly Street. Guess who we bump into again? They were there.
He tried to talk to me but I couldnt say anything. I cant say a word when I see him.
October 26th.
Went to school, and told them this will be my last day till the Nikah is over.
They were all happy. I'm taking leave from today.
October 28th.
Am here writing now whereas everyone else is preparing to go. Cant believe I'll be married by the time I come back. Nyways not worrying too much coz its all left to Allah and he will be there with me whrerever I am, I know that. I hope that he blesses us with a happy life!!!
October 20th. I was feeling very sick, having a cold and lying in bed all day. Then my parents tell me that a few people are coming over to see me. That made me so mad coz I was in so much pain and I felt they didn't care. So I had to get up and shower and get dressed up for them. I was feeling so angry towards the people as well, even though it was not their fault.
Evening, they came including the guy and I just had to sit there with them. He spoke a few words like asked my name, studies, work etc. I just answered the questions and didnt wanna talk. Family seemed nice tho so it was ok , my anger died down a little.
Once they went my mom asked if I liked and I got so mad at her.
On this same day I got my 'friend' in the morning, so that too added to all these.
October 21st.
The family who came yesterday had said ok and wanted to come home and confirm. I couldnt believe it, I was too much in shock and scared that my parents will say yes. And then from my room I heard them talking about venues, engagement and dates and that made my head spin. I was like, whattttt, they hadnt even asked me, and they are making plans?
Later in the evening my parents spoke to me, showd me his pic and details and asked if I liked. I am so fed up of all these proposals by now. I just sat and started to think. I was not able to find any fault with them this time, except tht the guy was too polite :) And I just felt that its OK, so I told them ok. I couldnt believe what I was saying tho.
October 22nd.
Everything got confirmed and they wanted to have the nikah. I was like OMG, what, the nikah. And that too on 1st of Nov. I'm totally not prepared for this. But then agaoin I thought if its confirmed why not. And I also I prefer getting to know the guy after the nikah coz its legally not right to talk b4 nikah.
They came home today to see me and talk to my parents.And to get measurements for rings and bangles.
October 23rd.
We went shopping for Sharara's and got one at Jeychandrans. Guess who we bumped into. Him and his family. God, I felt like I could dissapear. I couldnt talk, I said no when the sister wanted me to talk.
I also informed the school and they were all very happy for me.
October 24th.
We went shopping again for accessories and stuff and Sarah joined me this time. She was hoping tht she will get to see the guy, hehe. They were at MC the same time as us but they were leaving when we spotted them. We dropped Sarah and went to Beverly Street. Guess who we bump into again? They were there.
He tried to talk to me but I couldnt say anything. I cant say a word when I see him.
October 26th.
Went to school, and told them this will be my last day till the Nikah is over.
They were all happy. I'm taking leave from today.
October 28th.
Am here writing now whereas everyone else is preparing to go. Cant believe I'll be married by the time I come back. Nyways not worrying too much coz its all left to Allah and he will be there with me whrerever I am, I know that. I hope that he blesses us with a happy life!!!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Mixed feelings
The day started and continued as one of my usual days. Later in the evening, an old friend comes online and we started chatting. My friend had something to tell me. First I didn't believe it and laughed about it. As the conversation continued, I realized that this is the real truth that I was hearing. I was in shock. I tried to pretend that it didnt affect me in anyway, but it did... very deeply. I didn't know what to make of it. I was happy for a reason and sad for another. I was also hurt at the same time because I had not been told the truth all this time. I also felt a sense of peace and relief. It felt like I was finally set free... to fly... to where ever I wish, set free by my heart and mind.
I made a decision at that instant. I decided to do something that I should have done a very long time ago. This time I was absolutely sure that I was doing the right thing and for the right reasons. So once I finished the conversation with my friend, I did it... with no second thoughts. It hurt inside to know that I'm closing down a part of my life or atleast what was a part of me. Finally I was able to let go... I mean really let go. From inside I heard a voice telling me... that I can move on now without any regret, hurt or guilt.
Its funny when u look back at life and see how and where its taken its turns. I have always believed that whatever happens, happens for good and I still do. Also I now know that as humans, we have our plan and God has his. Its all fate. . .
I made a decision at that instant. I decided to do something that I should have done a very long time ago. This time I was absolutely sure that I was doing the right thing and for the right reasons. So once I finished the conversation with my friend, I did it... with no second thoughts. It hurt inside to know that I'm closing down a part of my life or atleast what was a part of me. Finally I was able to let go... I mean really let go. From inside I heard a voice telling me... that I can move on now without any regret, hurt or guilt.
Its funny when u look back at life and see how and where its taken its turns. I have always believed that whatever happens, happens for good and I still do. Also I now know that as humans, we have our plan and God has his. Its all fate. . .
Saturday, December 15, 2007
My Birthday Treat
I had planned to give my treat today. All my friends confirmed on coming except Nazriya and Raunaka due to personal issues. I wanted a totally different celebration for this b'day , so chose to try new places and new things. I have a lot of things to celebrate for this year and also I kind of have a feeling that this might be my last year with my friends (just one of the weird feelings that I get sometimes, and hope its not totally true). So I wanted to make it grand and wanted everyone to have a great time.
Rish and Zafra came over to my place and we started out a bit late, OK, a lot later than we expected to :). We headed over to a new place called The Sizzles. Sarah Couldn't make it for lunch to something that just came up, but promised to join for coffee.
I ordered something calld Rocky's. The atmosphere was nice but nothing great. There was an E-Fm promo going on in the background. The food was good and different, but the best part was the way that they served it. Its all served on a sizzling plate, so its super hot when it reaches us. We have to wait if we dont wanna ruin the meal by burning our tounges :). We enjoy the aroma first and then the food. And as if that wasn't enough, we ordered a dessert, blueberry cheesecake with ice cream. Even that was served on a sizzling plate, which was really cool. I'm not really a cheesecake fan, so ate a bit of that and icecream. We shared the dessert coz we simply cudnt finish a whole dessert each since we were already stuffed.
We were done by around 4pm.
And from there, Rish had to leave after lunch, due to personal issues, again :D
Zafra's sister Sarah and Sarah Pallaq joined on from there after Rish left.
Our next stop, The Cinnamon Grand - Coffee Stop. And this is where I was providing my treat. We headed there and were waiting .... and waiting for Thamzeela and Rehana to join us. They took a pretty long time to arrive. They arrived at around 5.30 pm and then we started oredring our coffee. We ordered Waffles as well, but those never turned up. And then we thought, since Crescat is next door, why not have an early dinner as well. We discussed and finalized on it.
So the next stop, Crescat Boulevard. Zafra and I simply couldn't eat anything more, but we were forced. I finally agreed to share a submarine with rehana, and Zafra went with soup and fries. We were there chatting and eating until 8pm by which it was time for us to leave. My dad came and picked us, dropped my friends and we headed home. I got loads of gifts :D
Right now I'm ending this amazing day listening to Over You, by Daughtry which is simply amazing. I would say its the best song of the year. I had a superb and an unforgettable birthday celebration, but only wish my other two friends could have joined.
Rish and Zafra came over to my place and we started out a bit late, OK, a lot later than we expected to :). We headed over to a new place called The Sizzles. Sarah Couldn't make it for lunch to something that just came up, but promised to join for coffee.
I ordered something calld Rocky's. The atmosphere was nice but nothing great. There was an E-Fm promo going on in the background. The food was good and different, but the best part was the way that they served it. Its all served on a sizzling plate, so its super hot when it reaches us. We have to wait if we dont wanna ruin the meal by burning our tounges :). We enjoy the aroma first and then the food. And as if that wasn't enough, we ordered a dessert, blueberry cheesecake with ice cream. Even that was served on a sizzling plate, which was really cool. I'm not really a cheesecake fan, so ate a bit of that and icecream. We shared the dessert coz we simply cudnt finish a whole dessert each since we were already stuffed.
We were done by around 4pm.
And from there, Rish had to leave after lunch, due to personal issues, again :D
Zafra's sister Sarah and Sarah Pallaq joined on from there after Rish left.
Our next stop, The Cinnamon Grand - Coffee Stop. And this is where I was providing my treat. We headed there and were waiting .... and waiting for Thamzeela and Rehana to join us. They took a pretty long time to arrive. They arrived at around 5.30 pm and then we started oredring our coffee. We ordered Waffles as well, but those never turned up. And then we thought, since Crescat is next door, why not have an early dinner as well. We discussed and finalized on it.
So the next stop, Crescat Boulevard. Zafra and I simply couldn't eat anything more, but we were forced. I finally agreed to share a submarine with rehana, and Zafra went with soup and fries. We were there chatting and eating until 8pm by which it was time for us to leave. My dad came and picked us, dropped my friends and we headed home. I got loads of gifts :D
Right now I'm ending this amazing day listening to Over You, by Daughtry which is simply amazing. I would say its the best song of the year. I had a superb and an unforgettable birthday celebration, but only wish my other two friends could have joined.
Friday, December 14, 2007
My 24th Birthday
Today, december 14th, I turned 24 and no that isn't old :).
It doesnt feel much different. Morning started out as usual and was a bit boring. Towards evening i was getting excited as I was joining Zafra and her family for her birthday treat. BTW, we both share the same birthday (same day same year).
I went over to Crescat Boulevard arnd 8pm. They were waiting for me. Her whole family was there including her fiance. Her sisters and I chose to go for Mongolian, the Supreme Combo with meat, seafood and rice. It was good but spicyyy. And afterwards I had a Brownie with four scoops of ice cream for dessert from Roots. I must say..... it was heavenly coz I'm eating chocolate and ice cream after ages. It was like rediscovering the taste of chocolate :D.
And it contained all my favourites, i.e. brownie, chocolate and peanuts. Zafra had a strawberry something and later we were fighting over the last strawberry.
After dinner we popped into the Cinnamon Grand to checkout the coffee prices and spend a lil time. The atmosphere was really nice and wished we could have stayed longer.
Returned home around 11pm and slept like a baby :D
Overall, I had a great time after a long long time.... now I'm looking forward to tomorrow.
It doesnt feel much different. Morning started out as usual and was a bit boring. Towards evening i was getting excited as I was joining Zafra and her family for her birthday treat. BTW, we both share the same birthday (same day same year).
I went over to Crescat Boulevard arnd 8pm. They were waiting for me. Her whole family was there including her fiance. Her sisters and I chose to go for Mongolian, the Supreme Combo with meat, seafood and rice. It was good but spicyyy. And afterwards I had a Brownie with four scoops of ice cream for dessert from Roots. I must say..... it was heavenly coz I'm eating chocolate and ice cream after ages. It was like rediscovering the taste of chocolate :D.
And it contained all my favourites, i.e. brownie, chocolate and peanuts. Zafra had a strawberry something and later we were fighting over the last strawberry.
After dinner we popped into the Cinnamon Grand to checkout the coffee prices and spend a lil time. The atmosphere was really nice and wished we could have stayed longer.
Returned home around 11pm and slept like a baby :D
Overall, I had a great time after a long long time.... now I'm looking forward to tomorrow.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Candlemaking by Sweet Tooth Express
This is an ebook I bough off Ebay. It has some basic info about candlemaking , good for a beginner and some simple projects for you to start with.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Heart
The poem below was written by a close friend of mine. All I can say is that its Excellent and touched my heart.
Heart
Every corner is taken
Every crevice is filled
with memories of happiness,
sorrow and guilt.
The endless trickle
of emotional treasure
The harmony of jealousy,
content and pleasure.
Bleeding in pain
or hammering in surprise
My heart throbs in
continous disguise.
Madiha Idrees Motiwala
Heart
Every corner is taken
Every crevice is filled
with memories of happiness,
sorrow and guilt.
The endless trickle
of emotional treasure
The harmony of jealousy,
content and pleasure.
Bleeding in pain
or hammering in surprise
My heart throbs in
continous disguise.
Madiha Idrees Motiwala
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